Intimacy brings connection. As its been said, “Into-me-you-see”. Intimacy can be defined as the absence of fences. To connect is to be linked, bonded, to have union.
Intimacy is not the same as into-you-I-see, this may be a close relative but it is not the same thing. Feeling your heart is not the same as me being intimate with you. When I looked into the definition of the word intimacy one of the first definitions I saw was the absence of fences and to be connected is to be linked. To be intimate with you means the fences have to be removed which allows for a linking, a connection, a touch between you and me. Intimacy or into-me-you-see has to apply in my heart and in yours, it’s a choice that the individual must make with the person they are wanting to connect with and this choice must be met with the same response. It’s saying, I am coming to you and you are coming to me and in the middle we connect.
Intimacy does not require a perfect relationship in which everything is on the table and you are laid bare, but rather the removal of fences, the things that hold you back from loving unconditionally, the negative emotions that hold distant memories firmly in their place, the thoughts that trap you inside your walls. To be intimate is to be free of walls, to have both parties say, “Into-me-you-see, I’m coming to you and into-me-you-see, I’m coming to you”. It’s a union.
So what is into-me-you-see? Does this mean you can’t be intimate with someone you love because they won’t meet you in the middle or you aren’t willing to remove the fences that have kept you safe? And if this is so what can you be?
Some people or should I say most of us in certain times, places, with certain people have chosen, made our choice not to be intimate with another and leave our fences standing strong, or so they seem. Intimacy is not something that should be given or thrown at anyone, as I said, it is a choice and that is your choice to make, who do you choose to be intimate with? Who do you desire to connect with? Not all relationships are intimate.
What happens if we give into-me-you-see to another and it is received with a fence? Does this mean we must then build our own fence, or can we be intimate with a fence? How do you link, bond, unite with a fence to form a connection? Or do you just disengage and let bygones be bygones. This is a choice that every human soul is faced with, and I don’t believe I truly know the answer to. I am guilty of putting up fences in one hand and being intimate in the other, trying to connect when my fences are firmly in place.
Through Gods love our fences, our barriers, our broken places dissolve so that he can be closer to us and we can be closer to him, he brings light (wisdom, revelation, understanding) into the dark places, so is this a spiritual key to the kingdom of intimacy and connection with those around us. Love thy neighbor, Love thy enemy. Can love, Gods love, in us, through us, with us, dissolve fences. I completely believe this is possible, God is the God of impossibilities. So why is it then, that my first response to danger is to protect my heart and raise my hands in defense? If I believe what I say I believe, shouldn’t this response look different? What would Jesus do in a place of danger? Jesus says in the bible, “I only do what I see my father doing”, and God is always love. So when I’m faced with a relationship that seems impossibly surrounded by fences, and my fences have been lost in outer space with no end in sight my response should be, “I only do what I see my father doing”, and believing, having faith that in doing this those fences will break down and two hearts will unite and intimacy and connection will come. God is bigger than a fence.
“You are where you are because you choose to be there.”