I must believe!

Breathe!

"When I don't understand, I will choose you, 

When I don't understand I get to choose you God, 

When I don't understand I get to choose to love you, to worship you, 

For you are good, God, good to me"

- B & K Torwalt

I love this part of the song, it talks about breathing God in.  Just breathe.  Just breathe in all of who God is, breathe in all of his goodness, all of his love.  He is the living God, the LIVING God, so real, so true, so close, so present, so aware, so free, so complete, God.

God, much greater, much stronger, much free'er than I will ever know. I intend to search this out.  God's goodness abounds, Gods mercy is new every morning, Gods love never fails, Gods eyes are always on us, looking, watching, waiting, preparing ;)

YOU!

You! 

If i had one of those big hands that has one finger pointing that they have at sport games I would be wearing one and pointing it at you.

I feel like the Lord has to remind me often, just be you Alyce, I don't need you to look like someone else or think or act or be or anything like someone else, I just need you to be you.  I love you as you and you'll love you as you too.  Oh I think I need this plastered on my forehead so every morning when I look in the mirror I see it and every night when I go to bed I see it and any moment in between.  I see it! 

"What you surround yourself with is what you become!'

 If i surround myself with thoughts of how to do things like someone else, or how to make my life like someone elses then I may very well try and become some else instead of celebrating me and my uniqueness and what makes me me and in that celebrating those around me and what makes them them, not comparing but celebrating.

"To celebrate another is to see the gold in them, to celebrate ourselves is to value the gold in us."

Just letting it be, be as we are, be who we are, be what we are, just letting it be.  I could really wear myself out in the day thinking of all the ways I should try and do things differently because thats how so and so does it, or how I should pray this way because thats how that other so and so does it or how I should wear my clothes this way because in that magazine that so and so did it.  

To wake up in the morning, thanking the Lord for the day and its beauty, looking in the mirror and thanking the Lord for making me me, choosing what to wear and not thinking about what I 'should' wear but rather what I want to wear (sometimes getting dressed takes me so long that I end up yelling at myself in annoyance).  I don't have to have it all together so why do I put such pressure on myself to be so.

I don't need to know the answer to every question, I don't need to fear the unknown, I don't need to feel weak in the midst of people.  I just need to be me, with Jesus, in his presence, having fun, trusting the journey, trusting myself and being full of love mistakes and all :)

Trust the journey and be you!

Apache Blessing

 

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. 

Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. 

Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. 

Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. 

May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. 

May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth.

Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. 

Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. 

When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship – as they threaten all relationships at one time or another – remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. 

In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives – remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.

And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Seven Pounds.

Can you do me a favour?

A smile, a word, an act of kindness, a laugh, a gift, a touch, a generous spirit ...
A person who takes their pain and points it toward bringing life to those around them ...
A selfless life that puts the needs of those around them in the highest place ...
To live like this, yes like this I can live

Who knows what a life it may change?

Waves

I feel his waves

he's here

he's wooing

he's in my midst

I feel him here

so close

so real

my heart cannot deny

He's just too good

he's here

so close

"He's looking at me, looking at him, staring through me!"

The Heartbeat!

Love is so much more than we will ever know, our hearts are much bigger with much more space than we will ever see.  God is not limited by our knowledge and understanding, by our time frames or future plans.  He really does know what is going on because its all already planned, he sees what we can't, he knows what we don't.  He sees the fork in the road that came a month ago because he set our path on it 5 months ago, nothing is a surprise to God. He Knows!

ONLY BELIEVE!
Only believe that God is for you not against you
Only believe that God will make a way where there seems to be no way because he already has made a way.

God knows the way!
I love the way you can be going about your life so focused on what you can see when like a dove descending, God breathes a new idea into flight and your gaze is lifted and your heart grows bigger, like you find that your heart has more than you have ever seen.  Just when you thought you knew your heart, it opens up wider revealing more love.

God knows the way! Only believe! Its more than you will ever be able to know or understand and it fits you like a glove.

Selah!

Love.

Love.

Are you in love with someone?

Do you have a crush on someone?

Do they know?

Could you tell them?

Are you THAT brave?

It's a risk.  It could flop. It could fly.  Or maybe it might just make you smile, . . . or cry.

Do you know them?

Do they know you?

Are they a stranger? or a friend?

When will you see them?

How will they know?

That inside your heart you've made room for them, can you let the twinkle in your eye show?

Are you hidden?

Do your feelings flow?

Is it a bumpy ride or smooth sailing the go?

If you don't risk it how will you know?

Maybe you'll hear a resounding NO.

Or a whisper of yes, where the butterflies can return home.

Are you in love? How do you know? Its the beat of your heart that makes clear a foggy road.

So stand up inside.  Open up wide.  You're about to jump ship and see whats on the other side!

Are the roots exposed?

"My heart is wide open in my eyes, to this I see truth."

When you think of a plant you think about its beautiful flowers, or leaves or the fragrance it gives off, the fruit that it yields, what you don't often think about are the roots of that plant.  They are unseen, hidden, underground, they are the reason the plant has life and can stand.

My friend challenged me recently, 

"How visible are your roots?"

This meant, How vulnerable are you in your life, your relationships? How open is your heart to those around you? How much do you let others see of you? and who you really are? 

You see Jesus is talking to me about Intimacy with him and isn't this what intimacy looks like, vulnerable, open, in love, safe and taking that intimacy to others and isn't that what it looks like vulnerable, open, in love and safe? 

So this is my challenge again and further more, 

celebrate intimacy and expose the roots!

Temple.

TEMPLE

"Light fills this temple, its home to a King. 

Light fills this temple, it loves from within.

Light fills this temple, it choose the righteous one.  

Light fills this temple, the kingdom has come."

I was at a friends house recently and we were out in her garden picking vegetables.  She picked this amazing eggplant.  When her mum got home she saw the eggplant and how amazing it had grown and then right up the top near the stalk she saw a little hole and she said something that has come back to me a couple of times, 

"If the bugs get in they can wreck havoc and destruction on the inside."

It made me think of life.  On the outside we may appear to be perfect clean vessels, grown strong and healthy, rich in colour and vibrancy, but only the Father knows our true thoughts, only the father knows the true state of our internal being.

Sometimes our insides are riddled with  "bugs", negative thoughts, jealousy, comparison, judgement, dishonor, greed, fear, anxiety, disbelief, control, the list could go on.  We may be harbouring unforgiveness or sadness, we may be living defeated or downcast, we may have locked the door on our internal world and thrown away the key.  

Jesus says, " . . . whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things . . . " 

"Do you want to BE clean or do you want to APPEAR clean?"

What is your source of life? How does life enter your vessel? Can the "bugs" get in at your source of life?  Theres that saying, "What you surround yourself with is what you become".  

I know for me at times, I struggle with jealousy, comparison, fear and anxiety.  I want my vessel to be clean,  I want my inside to match my outside and my outside to match my inside.

This is what I know . . . 

• We are fearfully and wonderfully made
• I am a Queen
• God knew my innermost parts from the beginning of creation
• Created in the image of God
• We have courage
• My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit
• Jesus came so we have life and life in abundance
• We are loved unconditionally with an overwhelming love, we can't ever change that

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self Control are alive in me because Jesus is alive in me.  These are not qualities I hope to have one day, these are who I am already because I am a daughter of the King.  My dad is the King of the universe, I have everything I need in him, he knows my innermost thoughts and the state of my being and loves me unconditionally and calls me lovely.  My dad can squash mountains and create heaven and earth, he can destroy an army with one man, or provide for thousands with a few fish and loaves of bread, nothing is impossible which means I am safe and secure, my hope abounds.

If I am rotten inside, I am restored

If I am broken, I am made whole

If I am hopeless, I have he hope of God

If I am afraid, I have Shalom

So if the fruit looks great on the outside and you open it up and finds its rotten and something has been wrecking havoc on the inside.  STOP! Look at the fruit and go straight back to the tree.  If your source is good then the tree will be strong.  Let the seeds rest at the feet of the tree and you will find soon enough the old will pass away and that new life will spring forth.  

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life."

Jesus you are my source, you are my life, you bring new life to the old rotten places, you are my friend and my hope.

 ¹¹ One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace 

   will have the king for a friend.

Ever Wonder. Ask questions and live into the answers.

What do you pack to pursue a dream and 

what do you leave behind?

What do I dream about? What is my destiny? I think that is the first question with a quote like this . . . 

        I dream about being a wife and a mother, cooking and nurturing mine and others bodies, being a successful Naturopath, a releaser of Jesus in strength and power to see peoples lives transformed, making beautiful clothes, being creative, leading others into intimacy and revelation with Jesus.

So what do I pack to pursue these dreams?

- A wife : well a husband would help, but I can continue to learn to honor men and respect them, I can learn from wives that inspire me, I can work on any relationship I already have in my life now, I can be declaring the promises of God over my marriage . . . so I'll take a humble heart, a passionate heart and a free heart (help me Jesus), I'll leave behind fear, comparison, judgement and jealousy.

- A mother : this one I'm just excited about so I'll take that, great excitement and anticipation

- Cooking and nurturing the body : okay . . . so I feel like for the past few weeks I have eaten bread, pasta and chocolate, so I most certainly can pursue this one a lot better.  I'll take some self respect for my body and what I'm putting into it, I'll leave behind a lazy / lethargic attitude towards health, I'll take some passion to share health with others.

- Being a successful naturopath : I'll take a committed mindset to learn, and God given cognition enhancement, I'll take a willing and an open heart, I'll take the Holy Spirit and his wisdom in this area, I'll take a peaceful mind that doesn't tire of learning, I won't take procrastination, or tiredness

- A releaser of Jesus : I will look to him when I am around people and when I am alone, I'll take intimacy, secret place, love beyond imagination, sensitivity and obedience to the spirit, I will take a heart of courage and risk, I'll leave behind striving, my own works, timidity.

- Making beautiful clothes and being creative : i will JUST DO IT :) , leave behind NOT DOING IT :)

- Intimacy and revelation : sensitivity and relationship with God, Jesus and Holy Spirit, this I will take and their light and off I will go :)

Ahhhs it's all part of the adventure :) 

I've been on a few hikes lately and I am learning each hike what to pack and what to leave behind and what to take just because you want it even if it will make the pack heavier.  The first big hike I went on I took all the wrong stuff, wrong pack, wrong food, too much 'stuff' and my back and bones suffered but I still had a great time.  The next hike I went on I took a great pack, less food and the right food, less clothes but I took a pillow :) best decision of my life and still had a great time.  We live and we learn and we take joy with us in the ups and downs and bruises and blisters.

Love God. Love Life. Love Now.

Take Risks.  Make Mistakes.  

God Loves it all :)

Ever Wonder. Ask questions and live into the answers.

 If you think your life is hard, what are you comparing it to?

Do you ever have one of those moments where you feel like you get a smack in the face of perspective and the main though that goes through your head is, "... what on earth have I been complaining about, my life is great."


Well my life is great.  I have
- a home (warm, dry, loving, free, safe, my own)
- a family
- a car ( well it's my mums but I can still drive it)
- amazing friends
- opportunity to study and learn
- a great church
- I have God.  that in itself should provide an answer for any complaint I have


Today my life was blessed my


- working at my great job
- being told my a client that I was very efficient
- talking to one of the guys I work with about how he wants to treat a young girl with MS for free because thats the least he can do for someone that is bed ridden.  Was so encouraged by his heart.
- there was amazing sunshine today.
- took my library books back and they had the book i needed
- got a great park
- got to drive in the city and look at the houses and the ocean which i love
- got to visit with my cousins that have just moved back from Scotland
- got to talk to my sister. Love her.
- sung really loud in the car on the way home
- enjoyed my freshly cut hair (not a normal feeling for me)

A quote that I think is cute, found it the other day

Love..

A form of amnesia when a girl forgets there are 1.2 billion other guys in the world.

Ever Wonder : ask questions and live into the answers.

When was the last time you did something for the first time ?

So I was in the car with my lovely friend Leah the other day driving home from Portland and she was showing me how she can beat box so I thought I would give it a shot and here is what I recorded.  I watched a little how to video first and geez its hard.  Hats off to those that can beat box.  I am impressed :) Here is how its really done ;)

Dreaming ...

DREAMS

by

Alyce Kate Serpell

Dreaming into the unknown of known.

      What do you dream about?  What do you want?

This is a question that resounds through many people’s lives.  People that feel stuck in their life, or may have a desire for adventure but aren’t sure what or where, people looking for direction or affirmation, people searching for answers, people who have accomplished their dreams and are looking for new ones.  What do you dream about? What do you want? A question that is or should be asked of everyone.  A question always requires an answer.  What is your answer?

This question was started for me in a conversation with my friend.  We’d been enjoying some time together and they had been showing me around, showing me some new places that I hadn’t seen before.  We weren’t there to discuss dreams or purposes in life, we weren’t having a deep and meaningful, we were just together, in our moment, being.  My friend is very joyful, such an example of love and peace and purpose and knows who they are and live strongly in that.  I admire them a lot and love to be around them, they are so full of rest and smiles.  I smile inside and outside just thinking about them.

When they asked me the question, “What is it you want Alyce? What do you dream about? I felt stumped, what is it that I want? Do I even know? I had to leave straight after they asked me this question but I knew it would require an answer, something I would have to think about, that sentence could not end with a question mark.    

      If we look back into our childhood we can get a glimpse of what we dreamed of being.  Maybe it was a brother who always wanted to play church and they would be the pastor, or a friend that loved to dance and sing to music, or maybe it was a young girl named Alyce that loved to play house and mummies and daddies. 

What did you imagine being when you were a kid?

      That brother is now an amazing youth pastor and that friend is now an accomplished piano player and worship leader.  These childhood games were an opening, a window into their soul, into who the Lord created them to be.  I am neither a wife nor a mother, … yet.  So until then, and beyond then, what is it I dream about, what sparks a passion in me, what makes me feel excited?  What is Gods pre-destined, anointed, appointed, favor filled, grace surrounded, love invaded dream that resides in my heart?

To dream is like the bird knowing it has wings to fly, to step into the wind is what carries that knowledge into reality, “… he soared on the wings of the wind” – Samuel 22:11.  Dreams are fascinating, so full of possibility, endlessness and hope, desire, but unless the wind comes and picks those dreams up and a way is found to breathe them into reality, that is where they will remain, locked up inside your head.  It is not until the dreams steps into reality that you truly see the impossible dreams bow to risk, persistence and intentional pursuit.  It takes faith to fly on a wind you can’t see but tells you it will carry you.  It takes faith to step when you have fallen.  It takes faith to believe when you have felt forsaken.  It takes faith to risk when familiarity has been your closest companion.  It takes one step into the wind and whoosh it’s got you.     

      I loved to pretend to cook and create, I would ride my bike and pretend I was winning a triathlon, I would watch the runners go by on the street and imagine being a great runner, I loved beautiful things and would set up a whole picnic just for me so that I could lounge in my backyard in beauty, with lollipops and cordial and pillows and flowers, it was as though I loved the setting up possibly more than the actual enjoying of what I’d set up, I would play on my parents bed clinging to the doona pretending that my life was in danger as I hung over the edge of a cliff, I would pretend to be a stall owner and sell my goods, I loved to play dress ups and put pegs on my nails like I had beautiful long nails, I would sit and scribble on paper over and over and over again, line after line before I even knew how to write, I loved to play in this imaginary world that could be anything and anywhere I wanted, it was endless.

Childhood perspective on life, on being an ‘adult’ is such a beautiful thing.  You have such hopes and dreams and truly believe there is endless possibility, that anything really is possible.  Then, you get older, life throws you some unexpected blows that weren’t in your vision of what being ‘older’ would look like, and this wasn’t in the plan.  Life gets busier and more grown up, expectation starts to mount.  What is lost?  Is it your ability to dream, to believe? We are created to be dreamers just as God is love, dreaming is innate.  So is dreaming lost?  I feel the dreamer is always alive, but rather hope has been replaced by discouragement, disappointment, fear or regret,

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life.”

Without hope the dreamer within becomes unseen, she is alive but her breath has become silent.  Hope blows its mighty wind on the dreamer and her voice is once again heard.

      I myself have known what it is to have a sick heart, to have a silent dreamer alive within me, to have hope replaced by incredible disappointment.  Time showed me my sick heart, as the Holy Spirit desired my dreamers voice to be heard once again.  Its not that the dreamer had died, its that her voice had been taken away, she is always alive.  To dream is to take breath.

To hear the sound of the dreamer again is like a mighty vibration shaking the foundations.  The dust no longer has a place to settle. 

So, as I mentioned at the beginning, I had been asked a question,

What do you dream about? What do you want?

When I was a little girl I dreamed about being a wife and a mother.

I still do, now that I am older my idea of what this will look like may have changed but I still have the same excitement and anticipation.  It’s still one of my greatest dreams.

When I was a little girl I loved clothes and playing dress ups.

I still do, now that I am older I dream about making clothes.  Even the other day I saw a picture of the ocean and the waves coming in and it gave me an idea for a top.

When I was a little girl I enjoyed pretending I was a cook whether I was in my backyard or at the beach there way always food to be made.

I still do, now that I am older I am studying Natural Medicine and have a passion for great food.  I get so much joy out of making something nourishing and delicious.  I made bread the other day and for the first time I was successful.  It was a great moment for my dreamer.

I have many more dreams now, but I can feel the focusing of my dreamer on the question asked,

“… What do you want?”

So I told him, I told him what’s close to my heart right now in this moment of my life.  This will change because he is a faithful friend.

My prayer is, Lord enlarge my capacity to dream, to dream out of the box and in doing so help me give dreamers back their voices and vision.  Let HOPE arise!

She lined her teddies up and would preach to them, now she is a preacher in the making.  She has preached many times and is taking a course of preaching which she was personally invited to attend, she has had many words spoken over her life about being a preacher.

She decided when she was younger she wanted to marry a prince and be the best wife and mother, this was her childhood dream and now she is living it.

Walt Disney : Today Disney rakes in billions from merchandise, movies and theme parks around the world, but Walt Disney himself had a bit of a rough start. He was fired by a newspaper editor because, "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." After that, Disney started a number of businesses that didn't last too long and ended with bankruptcy and failure. He kept plugging along, however, and eventually found a recipe for success that worked.

Most of us take Einstein's name as synonymous with genius, but he didn't always show such promise. Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and anti-social. Eventually, he was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. It might have taken him a bit longer, but most people would agree that he caught on pretty well in the end, winning the Nobel Prize and changing the face of modern physics.

Winston Churchill : This Nobel Prize-winning, twice-elected Prime Minster of the United Kingdom wasn't always as well regarded as he is today. Churchill struggled in school and failed the sixth grade. After school he faced many years of political failures, as he was defeated in every election for public office until he finally became the Prime Minister at the ripe old age of 62.

Most people know Oprah as one of the most iconic faces on TV as well as one of the richest and most successful women in the world. Oprah faced a hard road to get to that position, however, enduring a rough and often abusive childhood as well as numerous career setbacks including being fired from her job as a television reporter because she was "unfit for tv."

Fred Astaire : In his first screen test, the testing director of MGM noted that Astaire, "Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little." Astaire went on to become an incredibly successful actor, singer and dancer and kept that note in his Beverly Hills home to remind him of where he came from.

During his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only one painting, and this was to a friend and only for a very small amount of money. While Van Gogh was never a success during his life, he plugged on with painting, sometimes starving to complete his over 800 known works. Today, they bring in hundreds of millions.

J.K Rowling may be rolling in a lot of Harry Potter dough today, but before she published the series of novels she was nearly penniless, severely depressed, divorced, trying to raise a child on her own while attending school and writing a novel. Rowling went from depending on welfare to survive to being one of the richest women in the world in a span of only five years through her hard work and determination.

Few people can deny the lasting power of this super group, The Beatles, still popular with listeners around the world today. Yet when they were just starting out, a recording company told them no. The were told "we don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out," two things the rest of the world couldn't have disagreed with more.

Michael Jordan : Most people wouldn't believe that a man often lauded as the best basketball player of all time was actually cut from his high school basketball team. Luckily, Jordan didn't let this setback stop him from playing the game and he has stated, "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

"Dreaming gives rise to hope which encourages the dreamer."

Intimacy.

Connection.

      Intimacy brings connection.  As its been said, “Into-me-you-see”.  Intimacy can be defined as the absence of fences.  To connect is to be linked, bonded, to have union. 

Intimacy is not the same as into-you-I-see, this may be a close relative but it is not the same thing.  Feeling your heart is not the same as me being intimate with you.  When I looked into the definition of the word intimacy one of the first definitions I saw was the absence of fences and to be connected is to be linked.  To be intimate with you means the fences have to be removed which allows for a linking, a connection, a touch between you and me.  Intimacy or into-me-you-see has to apply in my heart and in yours, it’s a choice that the individual must make with the person they are wanting to connect with and this choice must be met with the same response.  It’s saying, I am coming to you and you are coming to me and in the middle we connect.

Intimacy does not require a perfect relationship in which everything is on the table and you are laid bare, but rather the removal of fences, the things that hold you back from loving unconditionally, the negative emotions that hold distant memories firmly in their place, the thoughts that trap you inside your walls.  To be intimate is to be free of walls, to have both parties say, “Into-me-you-see, I’m coming to you and into-me-you-see, I’m coming to you”.  It’s a union.

So what is into-me-you-see?  Does this mean you can’t be intimate with someone you love because they won’t meet you in the middle or you aren’t willing to remove the fences that have kept you safe?  And if this is so what can you be?

Some people or should I say most of us in certain times, places, with certain people have chosen, made our choice not to be intimate with another and leave our fences standing strong, or so they seem.  Intimacy is not something that should be given or thrown at anyone, as I said, it is a choice and that is your choice to make, who do you choose to be intimate with? Who do you desire to connect with?  Not all relationships are intimate.

What happens if we give into-me-you-see to another and it is received with a fence?  Does this mean we must then build our own fence, or can we be intimate with a fence?  How do you link, bond, unite with a fence to form a connection?  Or do you just disengage and let bygones be bygones.  This is a choice that every human soul is faced with, and I don’t believe I truly know the answer to.  I am guilty of putting up fences in one hand and being intimate in the other, trying to connect when my fences are firmly in place.

      Through Gods love our fences, our barriers, our broken places dissolve so that he can be closer to us and we can be closer to him, he brings light (wisdom, revelation, understanding) into the dark places, so is this a spiritual key to the kingdom of intimacy and connection with those around us.  Love thy neighbor, Love thy enemy.  Can love, Gods love, in us, through us, with us, dissolve fences.  I completely believe this is possible, God is the God of impossibilities.  So why is it then, that my first response to danger is to protect my heart and raise my hands in defense?  If I believe what I say I believe, shouldn’t this response look different?  What would Jesus do in a place of danger?  Jesus says in the bible, “I only do what I see my father doing”, and God is always love.  So when I’m faced with a relationship that seems impossibly surrounded by fences, and my fences have been lost in outer space with no end in sight my response should be, “I only do what I see my father doing”, and believing, having faith that in doing this those fences will break down and two hearts will unite and intimacy and connection will come.  God is bigger than a fence.

“You are where you are because you choose to be there.”

1 My heart is glad before you my king, I am at peace with you my greatest friend

2 By my side you are more than a friend, you are everything

3 Tonight you are my comfort, my rest, my encourager

4 Your voice is always good

5 My face is always happy to see you, my heart is glad before you my king.